God’s not done with you

Recently I had the special privilege to teach on God’s will for our lives and I learnt something so important in that process.

Sometimes we feel overlooked, sometimes we feel like we aren’t progressing fast enough, sometimes we are filled with doubt concerning our future.

I was there-there were points this year that my declarations were challenged and honestly my faith  as a Christian was under fire-why? Purely because I felt like God’s will over my life was taking a bit too long, I felt stagnant and I felt like the gifts and talents within me were dwindling away.

There came a point in my life that I just stopped praying, I really felt like my life was being placed on pause and I also just paused as well. In those moments it felt like God was done with me-it felt like He had overlooked me in certain things.

The truth is God never overlooks us-we in fact overlook Him because we focus so much on tangible things-we focus on the carnal state instead of the spiritual state. I mean as a parent-you don’t overlook your child, so why is it that we feel a perfect God would overlook us?

 

The Lord has a different way of launching us into our purpose-the problem is that we are so concerned with what everyone else is doing  that we lose sight of the process happening in our lives. God’s timing is never slow or late-it is perfect. 

In our walk as believers-we need to continue to train ourselves and learn to believe this FACT: GOD IS NEVER LATE!

We instead need to revisit and learn to submit ourselves to one of the fruits of the Spirit : PATIENCE!

God is never done with you-so long as breath is within you-he has a plan and a purpose for your life-it’s to prosper you and not to destroy you-learn to wait (as I say this to myself as well)!

 

 

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For your glory, be lifted high

I got home and I was reminded of this song.
Be lifted high, for Your glory be lifted high!
I sat in awe of God, how he has transformed my life. The Lord turned my mess into a message, turned my trials into a testimony- I never imagined the platforms I would be given to share his love, to share the hope I carry.
Everyone matters to the Lord, everyone carries a purpose and a plan that the Lord has placed in their hearts for humanity.

We carry answers and solutions for our generation, each and everyone of us is born for a time – unfortunately the rise of “self”, the rise of pride, the rise of narcissism has hidden that solution. When we become inward focused we nullify the existence of others, we go into self-preservation and self-sustaining mode and stop living out the greater purpose that we carry.

I asked Jesus once, what am I living for, the answer he gave me was simple but profound- you living for my glory Fezile. You are living so that I may be lifted high as you continue to focus on me, you are living so that I may be known through out the world that you live in so that they may know that unconditional love exists, that there is a hope that never diminishes…you are living so that I may be known through you. You are living for my glory. It’s all to bring me glory.
So, once the Lord answered me, I stopped focusing on my ambitions, my own plans and said, where you lead- I will follow.

I am in God’s plan, I am in His purpose and I am living for his glory.

When I die one day, I want to be remembered for the hope I brought, for the love I shared and for the light I shone. I love Jesus, he has transformed my life. I wanna be known for that!

#ImTransformed

Be blessed beloved

Lord, I need you

This week fear has been gripping my heart, I am making a major decision in my life and at times I get so scared, I literally feel like I am unanchored-at times I feel like I am about to sink. I have never done anything like this before but I remember the Word spoken over me-to trust the Lord in all things.

Friends, trusting God feels like walking on water every single time, it’s scary, there’s nothing that holds you in the flesh-you have to be completely and utterly surrendered to His will and purpose.

I am someone who needs a plan A right down to Z and currently my plan is God. Fear grips me because I don’t think I have ever depended on God in such a manner. For the first time I totally understand what Peter felt when he walked on water-I totally understand how he lost sight and nearly sunk-he must have kept thinking: I have never done anything like this before, is this really me walking on actual water?!

The thing is that God always prepares us for our Elisha moments, whereby we have to forsake all that we knew and follow him and trust in Him to take us to a safe and better place.

The journey has challenges, the journey has many trials and stumbling blocks-but the promise is that He is with me and he will never forsake me.

My spirit says : Fez, be still, have peace-walk in the joy set before you.

My flesh says: you will fail, surrender now whilst you have time, turn back, you are making a mistake.

How am I sane in all this warring in my mind you might ask

Jesus has never and will never let me down. That is literally all I pray: “Father, I need you! Father-you promised me you would answer when I call, Father-you remain faithful and you have the BEST plan for my life.”

Guys, I am a testimony, my life is a testimony , I am a living sacrifice forever at the altar of the Lord. I have been tested and tried and I know its supposed to be like that so that when Jesus returns I am as white as snow! This is part of my ministry and I am carrying good things-my future looks bright, though things seem a bit dusky right now-but my God will never put me to shame!

My God is faithful!

I carry God’s favour

I am Fezile, the beloved of the Lord God almighty!

Peace, all is well

Quick update

I really wanna share with you about what’s been happening in my life, I wanna open up – but I’m just now ready.

I experienced quite alot – good and bad and I’m still plagued by unresolved issues.

I miss writing, and I wish I could write about more light – hearted things but personally, I struggle, it’s not my style.

God is healing my heart. I lost friends that were like family so I’m dealing with that-I’ll probably write a post about that – it’s like an open wound, some days better than others but you realise why things had to be the way they were. Why you probably might never be friends again.

I’m going through a career change, had a baby, becoming more self – aware, traveled, studying in between and trying to be an awesome wife!

I’m in a fuzzy space, I floated a bit last year, but I believe I’m now anchored.

I’m really excited about the new phase of my life. It’s a leap of faith but really really exciting, I believe the Fez I believed in, the Fez I prayed to become is back.

Eagles don’t just fly, they soar! 👌🏽

Blessings friends

The problem with not believing in yourself

I encounter many people in my day-day life and one of the things I come across is people who have a self-esteem issues.

We all have issues, the problem is when those issues hinder you from doing the work that you have been called to do. I have met people who were called by God to do great work but they have been running away-not because they don’t know that they are called-simply because they see themselves incapable of doing the work.

“wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”

Marilyn Munroe

I struggled with self-esteem issues for a long time-I struggle to remember a time when they didn’t feature. I remember that many leadership positions and opportunities were missed because I considered myself inadequate. I look back and I am grateful that I missed them-I think if I had gotten them I would have never dealt with the root issue of my problem – inadequacy.

Inadequacy! What a word-what an even overwhelming emotion.

Inadequacy when it isn’t dealt with leads to resentment. You end up resenting people that you feel make you insecure and the sad thing is that it leads to stunted growth-you never grow because you end up believing that you are not good enough for a certain position.

I have had moments of not believing in myself even though God would’ve qualified me for a certain situation. I remember reading Gideon’s story with new-found appreciation. Here was a man who grew up under oppression, was the least in his tribe and grew up hiding away from not just the enemy that surrounded him but hid away from the potential God invested in him. Gideon was so broken that even when God called him a man of valour he tested God’s word so many times so that he could feel validated as a person. Shuuu, it brings tears to my eyes because I was there! I was in that place of feeling so insignificant that I began to not only hide from my purpose but I began to hide from God.

How did I overcome this you might ask?

I owned the fact that I didn’t believe in myself-I stopped hiding away from that and I owned it.

I also confessed that I need the Lord to set me free from that stronghold-no matter how much praise I would get I still felt insignificant and Holy Spirit opened my eyes that I needed to be set free from this lie.

I affirmed myself using God’s Word and I spoke and meditated on it (I still do).

I removed myself from toxic environments and people who brought this emotion about in me.

It’s a struggle still but I can wake up each day and believe in the purpose that the Lord has instilled in me. I know that it is by His grace and strength that I overcome every stronghold that tries to attack my mind and essentially peace.

God has qualified you beloved-yes, you may have been overlooked in life, you may have failed at some things in life-but that doesn’t take away the purpose that resides within you.

Make up your mind today to believe in Christ-every insecurity was nailed with him on the cross-he calls you victorious and an overcomer!

Choose to believe the TRUTH!

The truth will set you free

John 8:32

Choose Life

Choose to walk in the beautiful destiny set before you.

Brokenness.

I’ve been trying so hard to ignore writing about this specific topic for some time but the Holy Spirit keeps on nudging me to share and help bring healing in your life.

Have you ever felt so broken that you honestly feel like you’ll never ever be whole again? Have you ever felt so broken that you lost hope in ever feeling joy again?

Brokenness has a root, always, sometimes it takes time to find that root but it’s always there. Sometimes we have to search deep – it may even mean going as far back as our childhood to search for why we carry certain feelings and react in a certain way.

I remember a time when I was so deeply broken I actually went into depression, I didn’t know how I was going to come out of that depression all I knew and felt were deep festering wounds-I couldn’t conceal them anymore with makeup, I couldn’t hide them with my personality, I couldnt bury them anymore with my prefectly manicured image, I was dying and like all things that die – they begin to stink. Emotionally I was a mess, I was broken. The root was years and years of disappointment and feelings of rejection from the absence of a prominent figure in my life.

The manifestation of my brokenness was a bravado image – I felt like I didn’t need anyone in my life. The reason I felt like that was because I didn’t want to be disappointed anymore I didn’t want to trust somebody only to be let down again.

The other way my brokenness manifested was was that I took on a martyr role and I just felt that I could do everything by myself and that I didn’t need anybody to help me. I became self-sufficient so that I didn’t have to rely on anyone to help me because I didn’t want to feel rejected again.

There are many ways it manifests, for some its co-dependency: being with somebody who is toxic for you but you continue being in that relationship because you feel like you are fulfilling a need in that person and you feel that the person cannot really exist outside of you; basically they’re good for your self esteem that’s why you’re there. For others it’s being in an abusive relationship( and abuse – mind you- doesn’t have to be only physical) for some people persistently being in that abusive relationship and hearing the abuser apologizing over and over again affirms they’re worth because deep down they struggle with feelings of worthlessness.

Holy Spirit just tapped me on the shoulder and showed me how to deal with brokenness, I want to share that with you so you may be freed from that bondage.

1. Confess what you are broken about, give it a name.

For example: I am broken over my marriage not working out, or I’m broken over how distant we have become with my siblings, or I’m broken over the rape or molestation that I suffered.

2. Who broke you. Give the person a name and imagine that you are talking to them.

For example : X you broke me when you left me. Or Y you broke me when you cheated on me.

3. How did it make you feel when they broke you

Example : Y, when you cheated on me it made me feel unsafe in our relationship, I feel inadequate, I feel hurt over what you did.

4. How did you contribute towards your own brokenness. Yes this is the part that we don’t want to own but knowingly or unknowingly we contribute to it as well.

Example : Y, when you cheated on me I contributed to hurting myself by not leaving, or by not setting up boundaries, or by not being firm enough with you to make you realise that behavior is not allowed.

Lastly – forgive the person and yourself

I forgive you for breaking my heart, I forgive you for leaving me for someone else and I forgive myself for habouring this pain for so long.

You can do this exercise without the person who hurt you being there, even if the person is dead – it doesn’t mean that the wounds they’ve left you with are healed – address it.

Pray that God strengthens you, pray that he opens up all those doors you’ve closed in your heart and even if it hurts – just know that healing is awaiting you and that letting go will bring more joy and peace in your life.

Be blessed. You are loved ♥

This is a flaky post, but oh so necessary!

Ok, normally I write these deep posts about life and purpose – but today I thought why not let you in on some of my less intense moments like ice cream!!!!!

Hubby and I were literally having a debate about ice-creams and for me currently it’s tin roof from Woolies.

This isn’t a review, it’s literally me sharing a piece of heaven with you. Writing this has gotten me so happy cause I’m imagining myself eating it and how excited it makes me feel. Mind you, there is some in the freezer but I’d much rather share the experience with you.

Firstly it’s like a fantasy in your mouth – the ice cream isn’t too hard, it’s not too sugary. Then they add chocolate sauce and the surprise is the almonds. Guys, I love almonds so too me honestly it’s perfection really.

Yes, I’ve eaten Häagen-Dazs, but for my palate currently (please note the currently) it’s tin roof for me.

Have a try and let me know what you think, otherwise, please share your favorite ice cream and who knows – it might just end up being my current fave.