He’s gone Fez

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He’s gone Fez

I heard the news that morning. I thought this must be a joke-how can someone who contributed in my life-someone who saw me grow up, someone who was tangibly there-be gone?

He’s gone Fez

I stared at my phone in disbelief, I was overwhelmed by shock and confusion – I didn’t understand what I had just heard- I wanted to scream : “it’s a lie, you are joking!”

He’s gone Fez

I remember thinking but I saw this person two weeks ago-he was walking, smiling, he waved goodbye as if we still have many more years to see each other again not realising that wave was the last goodbye.

He’s gone Fez

I felt like temporary insanity had just attacked me, as I gathered my clothes to leave- I wondered how he died, was he alone, what went through his mind-did he know death was near?

He’s gone Fez

The news was relayed to me-he died painfully but quickly, he died having done all he could to live.

As I stared at his coffin move past me, I felt the tears threaten to escape-they couldn’t flow down on my face-they refused to clothe my face with the pain written in my heart

As I saw the coffin put down into the grave I realised how futile life is-how small human beings are in the sight of God. It dawned on me that we place so much hope in material things, we place so much hope in things that pass away that we forget about the everlasting things.

As he was laid to rest I had compassion for him: I realised that even though he had brought so much hurt in my life-that he had said some brutal things to me,but he was there; he was there for my plays at school, he was there after school to pick me up- he was there for my birthdays, he was there during my awards at school. He was there to hear my stories about my day, he was there when I needed advice.

Though he didn’t know how to raise me, though he struggled to look past the biology that separated us, though we parted painfully,

He was present in my life

He’s gone Fez but never to be forgotten.

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