Have you ever heard the statement : if you need anything, I am here-just call or sms I will be there for you?
I decided to use this affirmative statement to help me when I desperately needed a friend and guess what? That person wasn’t there. You may say-yeah but they were busy or they were held up with something. True-but what about if this is the constant wall you hit? You may say-well it’s time to cut your losses.
See, you have people in your life that you can’t just cut off-I hope you get what I mean-you want to cut them off but the love is just too deep. It’s not a toxic friendship because you aren’t broken that this person is just never there for you, it’s just disappointing because you give them the benefit of the doubt hoping that they will uphold their word.
I have come to realise that some people are too self-absorbed to truly care about anyone else. They are good people and well-meaning, but they just can’t be there for others. What hurts is that although they are great to be around-they are just unreliable.
Some signs that you have an unreliable friend:
- They always promise to be there for you and when you need them they just bail out on you.
- The conversation is about them-the minute it becomes about you, they switch off.
- They make lame excuses why they had to drop you suddenly.
- They don’t honour appointments
- They are self-absorbed-everything is always about how busy they are or how their life is just so hectic
This isn’t a comprehensive list-it’s just an indicator of some of their character traits.
It’s important to learn to guard your heart-as a person you just can’t keep exposing yourself to someone who doesn’t prioritise you. It creates feelings of self-doubt and anger. Give your friend the necessary space and resume your life but create sufficient boundaries to safe-guard your heart.