Awaiting the appointed time

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There is nothing more beautiful than watching things manifest over your life at their appointed time ; knowing that God saw that moment for you and allowed all that you had hoped for to manifest in that time.

People have asked me,  when are you having children of your own. It’s not a sinister question but in my heart I’m thinking I don’t even think you know how much I’m anticipating having them. It’s not that they can’t be conceived, it’s just that it’s not the appointed time.

The beauty of waiting is that you can plan, you can hope and dream.

I have dreamt of holding my children more now that I have ever before, this shows me that we are drawing nearer to having them.

I’m reminded of Abraham,  God told him when he would have his son. I can imagine how for many years Abraham dreamt of holding his son, how he imagined how he would  teach him many things – including loving the Lord fiercely. I can imagine how he longed to see him grow up and continue the legacy he started. Abraham may have gotten to a point whereby be felt like this won’t happen for me anymore – we see how he even considers giving his inheritance to his servant, he honestly thought being a father was not the plan God had for his life. But God had another plan,  God rekindled his dream and allowed him to plan for his son again, he allowed him to hope for a child again.

Maybe you are reading this and you are asking God when, maybe you have given up already, maybe you have grown so tired of holding an imaginary baby in your hands and you are saying God, this is enough torture!

I’m here to encourage you to hold onto that baby, hold onto that dream.  Press directly into God’s face and tell him that your aren’t leaving until he blesses you.

I have planned for my children, I know their names,  I know their traits already,  the beauty of faith is that you see things that haven’t manifested in the physical yet,  you can touch things that others can’t see,  you plan and move as if those things are there already!

Big dreams require active faith! Your faith may be the size of a granule of sand, but are your actions accompanying that faith? Trusting God requires you to put your hope in him, there is no point saying you are waiting on the Lord when you already have a plan B, you may find you have more hope in plan B working out than trusting God to pull through for you.

You may say- it’s easy to have a child- it most certainly is, HOWEVER-is the time appointed? Hope means that I trust in someone greater than I am for what is best for my life, hope is removing yourself from the equation in order to put God in the centre, hope means I give all my strength in trying things on my own and instead I put my faith in Jesus. Who is your hope? Are you not tired of seeing things fail in front of your eyes?

I am eagerly awaiting my appointed time because I have faith in a God who never disappoints, my hope is in a God who has never failed me- I would rather wait for his promises to manifest in my life than to try things on my own outside of his grace.

I believe in waiting, I have seen the benefits of waiting upon the Lord. I have seen many breakthroughs over my life as a result of waiting upon the Lord.

You might ask “what do you do whilst waiting?”

I jot down all my requests to the Lord in a book called my Faithbook. Let me let you in on this book. So I started this book whilst waiting for the promises of God to manifest in my life. I started writing everything I was trusting God for. Some of the things I had hoped for manifested 3 years after I wrote them down-does that mean God was late? No! It means that was the appointed time-God saw it fit for me to receive those blessings physically then. Habbakuk 2 tells us to write the vision down as it will manifest at an appointed time! See, you have got to catch the time beloved, you have got to align yourself with God’s timing.

Another thing I do is I plan my life as if what I am hoping for has already manifested. My husband taught me this spiritual tool. My husband was putting his faith out to get a new phone-needless to say he got it, but the way he exercised his faith muscle to get that phone was really awesome, he would YouTube reviews about this phone, he read every possible article about this phone, he thanked God for this phone, he would go into cellphone shops and hold the phone as if it was his already, he would come home and tell me about all the specifications-he lived as if it was there already. There are so many examples I could give you but this one is more ,meaningful and funny because there was a time I thought he has lost his mind-you see, faith doesn’t make sense-faith will make you aspire for things your bank account screams “IMPOSSIBLE.”

I also praise God whilst waiting. It’s so beautiful to praise God whilst waiting for a breakthrough, it’s such an exhilarating feeling knowing that he will come through for you-its beautiful knowing that he takes pleasure and delight in knowing that you are relying on him completely. Praise allows you to take the focus off yourself-it allows you to truly worship God for who he is and not just for what he can give you, it draws you closer to him in a special way.

I share with others what my hopes are  (when the Spirit leads) -this is me exercising my faith muscle right now! I am letting you in on a glimpse of what I am trusting God for-needless to say-2 people have confirmed what I am trusting God for, this encourages me to wait further for his appointed time, because I know he will give me the best.

My favourite scripture at the moment is Phillipians 4:6 : Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present you requests to God.

The beauty about waiting is the peace-the peace that transcends all understanding, the peace that says- be still and know that I am God

I have a testimony in waiting in which I will share the beautiful things God has done and is still doing in my season of waiting.

You know what- you can have that testimony too- all it takes is you ceasing to trust in yourself and instead to put your hope in Jesus-he never fails.

Will it even matter?

Our obsession with materialism and superficiality has led me to take some time to really look at the fundamentals of life-to really step back and look at the bigger picture.

The bigger picture is this in most instances- we are born, we learn to walk,talk and all the development milestones that come with this stage of life; we become more aware of ourselves, carve out our identity; we branch out into the world by ourselves; we discover someone we find compatible with ourselves; we marry and see the need to expand-thus have children; we get old and frail and ultimately,yes-we die!

The beauty of this bigger picture is that LIFE happens in between, memories are built to accompany this bigger picture-struggles and challenges are met along the way, victories and joys come besides us. The beauty is that we adapt to circumstances we never knew we could possibly overcome, we make new friendships, salvage the ones that were once lost-we discover new hobbies and interests…my point is : WE LIVE!

The question is-in your living, what are you building? what are you doing with your time? If you look back at who you were five years ago-are you satisfied, can you atleast smile and say: “YES! I lived and I’m still living.” The fundamental truth about life my friend is that time moves, however, with time moving-you dont have to look back at your past and allow it to define your present; also- you don’t have to stop living because you feel like your glory years have passed-what about now? what about the future?

I sat one day and asked myself some real questions-basically what sparked this is that I have gained some weight, I looked at all my pictures from the past, the pictures I took at my most successful, pictures I took when deep down inside I was supposed to be most proud of myself, instead, most pictures I looked at I kept thinking how fat I had felt in them, how concerned with my image I was- back then I was a shadow of who I am now,but I wasn’t content. I continued to be critical and judgemental towards myself-heck, I can’t even remember the joy and fulfillment of being in the moment without entertaining harsh thoughts towards myself.

I remember looking at people in critical care, people in palliative care fighting to have a chance to have a decent quality of life-fighting to ward off the pain that came with illness, fighting to walk out into the sunshine and feel the sun on their skin, fighting to feel their legs carry them without feeling like a burden to others- and here I was busy disqualifying myself over things that really don’t matter-busy messing with my bigger picture instead of embracing it.

The thing is when you are at your deathbed-the thoughts that erode your mind aren’t going to be about your weight or what a bad public speaker you think you are, no, the thoughts I believe that come at you like a violent force are- why didn’t I run more? Why didn’t I make more of a difference in my family? What would have happened if I wrote that book?  I should have reached out to my siblings more, I wish I attended more plays that my children participated in, how did I miss the stages of my life-the growth and transformation?

The thing is my friend-regret is an open wound, we may find ways to adapt to its pain-but it remains there. The question essentially is-will it even matter that you don’t speak or write so well,that you feel you might not look so great, that you don’t have much money or you have alot of money? At the end of the day-you leave it all behind, it stays where you found it!

The most regrettable thing other than having all these things or not even having them is failure-failure to be free, failure to do the very thing that you are afraid of; and that is becoming who God called you to be, becoming YOU!

One moment you are fat-the next you are skinny, who cares. One moment you are rich, the next you are poor; you have many friends you have few friends. Does it even matter to please people, when people are just fickle. People are so fickle, they are unstable, they lack consistency-yet, we invest our all in seeking their approval and ultimately, they let us down-time and time again.

The irony is that you will read this right now and it’ll make sense, you may even ask yourself,”Lord, why do I do what I do? when I should be seeking you more and pleasing only you, because you never disappoint.” You will read this and ask yourself these kind of questions but as soon as you walk away from your screen, you will succumb right back into that prison that continues to hold you captive-the prison that you set up-the prison of your mind.

Isn’t that funny?

Why can’t you just be strong and courageous by doing what you are meant to do-what you were created to do by just trusting God and being secure in who He says you are?

Will the things you hold onto even matter when the King of Glory is before you?

Does it even matter?

It’s hard to let go.

We have read countless quotes and posts about letting go, but one still struggles to do it. Honestly, letting go is one of the hardest things any human has to go through, it feels like mourning, it feels like your heart is being ripped apart-it feels like death itself.

I have had to let go of many people in my life, I had to let them go because my peace and contentment began to revolve around them. Ever been in a relationship that drains you but because you have invested so much in it,staying becomes a better option; actually, staying becomes the only option because the thought of letting go brings about dreadful thoughts of loneliness and despair?

Here is my speculations on the reasons why we struggle to let people go:

We have become to accustomed to having that person around. It’s hard to imagine starting a new friendship if you have spent 10 years investing in this one; yes, the person is toxic, but rather the devil you know right? But then again the devil is the devil.

They form a part of our identity. It’s hard to let someone go when that person has formed a part of who you are, they have moulded you to think a certain way, they have influenced your perceptions on life and they have even influenced you to view yourself a certain way.

Maybe I am a failure. Letting go of people can be perceived as a sign of failure to some. You start off with 5 friends and now you are left with 1, that can erode anyone’s self-esteem. One might start thinking that the problem is with themselves or that they don’t deserve to have friends because they always fail. The problem with this perception is that when the right friendship or relationship comes along, because of the past hurts you are battling with, it may hinder your progress with the current friendship.

The key thing to remember is that when your spirit tells you to let go-chances are you need to let go. Toxic people are poisonous for your soul and your perspective, they feed the way you perceive things and create feelings of inadequacy.

Other times one needs to let go in order to grow! You cant be stuck with people who enjoy superficial conversation when you are busy dissecting hard questions about life. If you want to frustrate them and yourself, stick around and before you know it the tension will be thick enough to drain you.

Letting go is a sign of maturity, it means you are willing to move out of your comfort zone, to challenge yourself to meet new people and to even be challenged about your perceptions on life. Letting go is an opportunity to explore new avenues in life, learn new things about others and yourself!

Let go of the things and people who don’t build you up!

Let go of the thoughts and lies that keep plundering your joy!

Mostly, let go of the prisons that you have created that are keeping your mind captive!

Live, be free and let go!

(Image : http://www.pinterest.com)

Your destiny is tied to God

destinyAs I write this I am thinking of all the times I have tried to impress others,times I have “sucked up” to people to try to have things turn in my favour; times I have laughed at a joke that was not funny all in the name of saving face with my seniors.

I look back and I realise how pathetic it was-actually how immature it was really. In those moments I forgot key scriptures-I forgot that when I have favour with God, I also have favour with man, I also forgot that the Spirit in me is greater than the one in the world, heck I even forgot that God is the one who establishes the work of my hands. One thing that my husband always reminds me of is the fact that if something is meant for me-that if God wants to give me something-I won’t need to do anything to get it because it has my name written on it. I don’t need to convince anyone to give me something that rightfully belongs to me. So,with that said-why do we do it? We do it because we FORGET our identity in Christ. We do it because we don’t STRENGTHEN the word of God in our lives. We do it because we are fearful about losing the things we hope to have. Allow me to elaborate on each one. How do we forget our identity in Christ? We listen to the things that contradict the Word of God.  We believe more in our current realities than in the realities of heaven. It’s harder to believe for something when you don’t have an immediate need fulfilled. The flesh reminds you that you need money to pay your rent or bond-instead of praying and strengthening ourselves in the word-we worry. We forget to remind ourselves about our identity in Christ-we forget about the promises of God and so fall into the trap of people-pleasing and fear to meet our needs. That which controls you has power over you-what controls you? Secondly we don’t strengthen ourselves in the Word. We are not of this world,the Word says, so if we aren’t of this world we need to keep ourselves updated of the world we come from-if we don’t do that we begin to forget the ways of our world and adopt the ways of this world. The Word,not only updates us, but it feeds our souls;also the word does more-it strengthens us by reminding us of Gods promises and his faithfulness. When we don’t read the word and meditate on it we wither-we accept things that sound like the truth but aren’t the truth-we adopt foreign ways,we embrace our current reality. Lastly,we are fearful about losing the things we hope to have. We live in a world that is very superficial and materialistic. Success is  defined by what you have and who you are wearing and what you are driving. Most of our desires come from what we see on billboards,social media and our friends. We live in a world were we are told that to fit in and be noticed you must have certain things. Fear enters when we realise that we aren’t very close to attaining those things,we become hopeless because we realise that God’s way is taking to long-or it’s not even moving at all. We succumb to the pressures around us and allow the flesh and fear to drive us to attaining our social standing. What’s sad about the flesh is that it knows no bounds-it drives us to discontentment in our lives,it drives us to minimise and even nullify the existence and magnitude of God. How does one stop this cycle-the word says that we must pray in all seasons-that means in good and bad times,PRAY! Prayer elevates us to embrace the Spirit instead of the flesh, prayer reminds us of our purpose and existence, prayer reminds us of our identity. Prayer reminds us to walk in faith and not in fear. I urge you to rethink your life, rethink your position and oppose what your reality is saying to you by countering it with the word. God does not lie-he is faithful to see us prosper. He only thinks good things about us. Take heart and walk by faith. You are the beloved of the Lord