Lessons I Have learnt whilst married

The ideas I thought I had about marriage were squashed quite quickly and instead reality set in for me-the reality was that every decision you make will always ultimately affect the other person. My husband knows the love I have for shoes-I have had to spend less money on shoes in order to focus on building what we BOTH want to achieve!

Marriage will cost you something– it cost me my selfishness! In order to make marriage work ,you are constantly giving and taking, you are constantly making decisions that’ll affect the other person even when you are alone.

A marriage without Jesus is doomed ,I have told on my husband to God multiple times and you know what-God has helped me out in moments I have felt overwhelmed by his actions. I have asked for wisdom from God in order to help me understand my husband better-I mean who better to ask than the Creator himself. In areas that my husband has fallen short-God is able to bring comfort and reassurance. My relationship with Jesus has grown stronger because I realise that He is my first husband, He is always reliable, always perfect and always loving-so if my husband falls short in an area I am able to love him unconditionally because I know that Jesus has given me the grace to be what he may have lacked to give me.

Comparing your marriage to others will create feelings of insecurity. Our marriage is unique because it has two unique people in it. We do things the way we do because it makes sense to us and we have agreed to do things that way. My husband enjoys washing dishes-I enjoy cooking, we have an agreement that he washes and I cook-there’s peace and harmony; some marriages the man won’t be caught dead in the kitchen-whilst that works for that couple-we embrace what works for us.

I have learnt to be a cheerleader! I haven’t bought the full attire, however I have learnt to cheer loudly and proudly! Marriage has two people involved who ultimately rely on each other to grow-I have learnt that when I stop affirming my husband, when I stop praising him in his accomplishments-he doesn’t feel like he has achieved much because his better half hasn’t acknowledged him. I have learnt to sit in the front lines and cheer him on because that is essentially how I see him grow.

I enjoy being a homemaker! I have come to enjoy making the house look and feel nice and clean, I enjoy cooking hearty meals and I love serving him! I didn’t wake up like this, but I sure learnt to be like this because I saw how excited he became every time he saw how the house looked and the warm meals that I had prepared.

The marriage you want to see is what you give. I have learnt that if I start slacking in loving my husband, things don’t move well between us. Marriage is work, it’s a choice to keep loving the person you are with better than you did yesterday. Marriage requires a fully committed heart-you have to be sold out to it, you can’t be double-minded about it

When the going gets tough-there are no exit strategies! We face each other-be it in silence or with cold stares until the matter gets resolved with true repentance and forgiveness. Just as side note-we had a disagreement with my husband the one time and he was like I’m sleeping on the couch! I was so taken aback by this statement because he has never said this before-I mean when we have disagreements we will still sleep in one bed-anyway, so he says this and I went to our bedroom in shock, then I was like-oh no he didn’t just say that, I went back out and said if you sleep on the couch-let it be forever, I never signed up to sleep on a bed alone! The night ended in laughter and my bed was occupied by its rightful owner-see, no exit strategies!

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