Don’t stop praying!

God has been speaking to me in dreams of late, he has been showing me certain things that I honestly haven’t been aware of or I have, but minimized them. I realise that the people we consider our closest allies can actually turn out to be our enemies. I realised that the enemy is always at work to destroy but God is a constant force that doesn’t allow the devil’s plans to come to pass over our lives.

An area God has been hammering me on is the need to intensify my prayer life, to actively pray and speak life into things that seemingly look dead.

I am in warfare everyday but these days it’s become quite intense HOWEVER I have quit whining, feeling depressed and defeated and I am really fighting in my prayer closet.

One day I’ll divulge what I was up against but for now I’m winning. It is still dark but I can see the light shining through. It’s getting better.

I’m winning!

Don’t ever lose the fire to pray, even when you have no words, let your tears be your prayer-but never stop, you don’t know when your breakthrough will arrive.

 

Be blessed guys.

P. S thank you to allow the new friends of the blog that have joined. I appreciate each and every one of you I hope my blog helps to empower you somehow.

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The same beginning but a new mindset

 

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As I write this I realise I haven’t blogged in quite a bit-needless to say, a lot has happened in my life, I feel like I have grown so much in my perspectives of life.

Last year was ROUGH, I  went through many painful transitions but God saw me through each and every one of them, I didn’t realise how broken I  was. I will elaborate at a later stage what I went through,for now I have accepted and I am at peace and for me that means so much right now.

I once watched this video that states that everyone is in their own time zone in life. Basically it’s similiar to saying one must run their own race. I didn’t really take it to heart then but this year I am able to appreciate that phrase so much more.

‘Our journey in life is different : we are not made to be identical, we aren’t made to look the same , get married at the same time; our uniqueness affords for us to reach certain milestones at different times of our lives.

Make peace with how your life looks currently, make peace with the stage you are in currently-will it change?

Yes, ofcourse! You aren’t 2 years anymore right? You grew up and started making up your own mind and forming your own views on things-life has progressed, so why do you feel like you haven’t progressed? The problem we all have is that we want to be better or further than someone who we think has it all together,that’s the issue we all have-competitiveness and feelings of inadequacy.

Accept the stage of your life you are in, it doesn’t mean that it won’t change, but accept that currently this is YOUR time zone,it’ll change as you transition to different phases of your life.

One way I have helped myself to accept my stage of my life is by really truly being in it: I limit the people who have access to my phase-I believe in rising silently. The people who are in my life currently are people God has allowed in and trust me they are helping me towards the next phase of my life.

The other way I help myself to accept the stage I am in is by limiting my exposure to people who are in time zones that I aspire to be in. I realised this created feelings of inadequacy and feelings of stagnancy which were all not true-I couldn’t appreciate my own growth because I was too focused on other people, I made those people my standard instead of focusing on the standard God has set for my life-Jesus!

The last way I have accepted my own time zone is by relishing in my achievements at that moment. I introspect on my victories and take all of them in. My husband always says when life throws a curveball-take out your trophies of life and see what God has pulled you from,derive joy and strength for the challenge from there.

Can I tell you something?

You have survived heavy ordeals, made mistakes but overcame; survived brokenness and shame, tripped and fell-sometimes you stayed in the muck, sometimes you joined others in their muck-but you got up, you picked yourself up with the little endurance left and kept on moving forward-you proved to yourself and to everyone else that the fight in you is still intact and you aren’t ready to quit!

You aren’t a quitter, grab your big girl or boy underwear and keep moving!

You are doing well!

You are making it!

Keep going!

What Marriage Is and Isn’t

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People have this notion that marriage will solve the unhappiness that they may have deep down inside.

Marriage doesn’t solve it, if anything-it highlights it. You cannot go into such a commitment expecting someone else to bear the burden of making you happy-that’s unfair.

Marriage works well whentwo people who are WHOLE enter into it-that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, what that means is that you have to know yourself, you need to know what it is you want and it is essential that you are fulfilled as a person. Disappointments happen because we expect the other person to be our world,we expect them to fulfill us-that burden is a sure plan for your partner to fail and therefore disappoint you.

Marriage is not a fairy tale, it’s not a scripted reality show whereby one decides when the fights will happen and when the overly romantic moments occur-marriage is real-things get ugly; what do I mean by that? Firstly, you will see just how mean a person you can be and how hard it can be for you to receive love-unconditional love. Marriage tests your commitment daily-there are moments you don’t wanna forgive your spouse because they’ve hurt you,there are moments you are tempted to leave in the bad times,but, your vows always keep you in check.

If God hasn’t chosen your spouse for you-man,flames upon flames are felt. The reason for this is that you will struggle to have grace for this person, you will always feel like they aren’t truly the one for you and you may compromise yourself a lot to try and accommodate them.

I have spoken to some people who were involved with different people and most say that once the relationship ended-the voice they heard inside made sense-the person just wasn’t the one, something just didn’t click.

I had that experience, I was with a man who was a good person,treated me well but he just wasn’t the one, we broke up continuously and each time we made up I was delusional enough to think God would change his mind-but God always reminded me that this man wasn’t my suitable companion (Gen 2:18).

Please don’t get married if you are tired of being single-sometimes we are single so that we can learn how to love others,marriage is not an escape-it’s a commitment-a daily commitment. Sometimes we are single so that we can be prepared and groomed for our person-you need to have grace for your person and grace is taught by the One who gives it in abundance-Jesus.

Someone once asked me : “how will I know he is the one?” The answer to that is your spirit-deep down in your spirit that niggly feeling of doubt won’t be there, the butterflies may be there but stronger than that will be your conviction deep inside that will see this person beyond their flesh. You will be able to see their heart and the beautiful thing is that this can only happen with your future husband or wife whereby you see yourself as compatible-with everyone else there will always be a compromise that you need to make in order to accommodate something about them that conflicts with your value or belief system.

Enjoy singleness-honestly, it’s a great time to know yourself, to do anything you want without having to consider someone else. In marriage you don’t have that freedom like that-you do have freedom but it’s on condition it doesn’t offend your spouse.

I think if I wrote everything I’ve learnt about marriage on here-this post would be longer- my marriage is beautiful because it’s like a garden; we weed out the lies,conflicts,anger and hurt (that takes effort,patience and alot of time) ; we plant joy,peace,love and growth and lastly we always maintain our relationship with God as the centre of our garden. We have beautiful flowers growing together, we plan our next garden patch and we tend our garden together because it belongs to us.

Marriage is as beautiful as you make it out to be-if you don’t put in the effort it dies, never be deceived to think that being with someone else will make you have a great marriage-if deep inside you have issues-they follow you through to the next relationship or marriage-sort that out first.

Always put God first, he is the Husband who will never disappoint you or hurt you, if you learn to run to Him in every situation-even when your spouse hurts you-you will be able to forgive them because you know of an unending type of love-Jesus, your first Husband.

Be blessed.

Pressing on…

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I have had to reflect  a lot this year, I have had to ask myself some deep questions; one of those questions was why do I actually believe in God-why do I actually declare Jesus to those I meet?

Worldly pressures at times can throw you in a place whereby walking away from God seems like the better option- holding onto your own strength and might seems better than trusting in a God who says is with you but whom you have never seen! I mean-why am I enduring troubles-why am I being patient in the midst of persecution? Essentially-why do I endure all that I do hoping that tomorrow will be better-what I am hoping for actually?

Friend, have you been so challenged in your life that you feel like everything will shatter around you but for some odd reason-you still continue, you still press on, you don’t understand how you are still moving, but you are just putting one foot in front of the other?

There came a point in my life whereby I asked God how he allowed me to be in the career I am in when at times  it feels like I am being thrown in a cage full of lions-everyday, and he expects me to keep moving-regardless of the trials I face! Sometimes I want to run-but I cannot, sometimes I want to hide-but this force within me says:  you aren’t born to hide, sometimes I want to be complacent but a voice within me says:  do everything as if it is unto me! I have wrestled with God  , I have begged, I have stopped praying, I have fasted for God to take me out, but one thing remained-God said I will overcome!

There are scriptures I read when I was happy and let me tell you something, the word of God sinks even deeper when we are hard-pressed, there is something about pressure that causes our hearts to yield more to God’s word. One of those scriptures was in James where he says we must count it all joy when we face trials of many kinds-for our faith is being made strong ( James 1:2).

Man, if you read that scripture to me a couple of months ago-I would’ve decorated it and posted it on my Facebook page with smiley faces because it sounds really nice, fast track to now- it is as real to me as the air I breath, it is so real because I am realising that my joy truly is not tied to the things of this world-God is allowing me to face what I face so that I can actually disengage my soul from being tied to what my flesh is tied to. The Lord says don’t fear the one who can destroy the flesh-fear the one who can destroy both the soul and flesh( Matthew 10:28).

Essentially I believe in God because truly there are things I have tried to do in my own strength in which I have found myself fail. There are things I have tried to pursue in my own strength only to have those doors closed when I had been so sure that they were opened! God has humbled me in a way only I can understand. I declare his name to those who don’t know it because truly he has transformed my way of thinking. I go through hard times but I always know that I will make it because each and every word he has spoken in the Bible has come true in my life. I have tried and tested the word of God and let me tell you-it is always correct! God’s word can’t fail-it will never fail.

I can go through trials and be hard-pressed knowing deep down that the Lord is holding my hand-he promised to never forsake or leave me.

I may face the lions everyday but none is greater than the Lion of Judah-none has overcome him, I carry his name, I am covered by his blood and I am guided by his spirit! The darkness was overcome more than 2000 years ago-God knows that even if the darkness threatens to consume us-it can’t because it was defeated! He can allow us to face the darkness because he knows that his light is greater and it already consumed it.

I believe because I have seen the Light, I believe because I am a light-I believe because I belong to the Light!

Blessings

 

Fezile, the one whom God loves

 

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It’s Christmas day and I am behind a PC 🙂

I couldn’t go to bed without writing this post-today I went to church and as I was sitting watching the speaker share the message I realised that God gave me life, God gave me time and God has given me love.

As I reflected on what my Saviour has done for me I was filled with tremendous joy. The word says we have every spiritual blessing (Ephesians) and today it hit me that everything the word says I have-I truly have.

As I reflect on my life, I realised that if I were to go to Heaven now-I would have peace, not only  because I would be in my Saviour’s arms-but I would have peace that I used everything the Lord told me to use and I have done what the Lord has said I must do-there is nothing more beautiful than that-to be in the complete will of God.

I used to think that if I had more money or a better house or many cars I would be complete-but friends, Jesus completes me, Jesus is my answer to the world’s deepest pain-Jesus is my everything.

I thank God that when he died for me more than 2000 years ago-he saw Fezile before him and he said I love her so much that I am willing to lay my life down for her. Jesus saw my whole life before him, my mistakes, my failures, my flaws-but even in all that-he still chose to die for me!

I boast of God’s love because honestly that love is the only one that hasn’t demanded me to be anything else than what I am. I know God loves me, I know that I am precious to Him and I know that I matter to Him. I know that when I am sad he feels my pain because he loves me. There isn’t anyone in this world who can ever tell me otherwise concerning God’s heart for me-I can speak confidently of that love because I have a relationship with my Father, I tell him everything and I know he hears every single prayer and he makes every effort to bring comfort and hope my way-because of the love he has for me.

God’s love humbles me because I don’t deserve it BUT he gives it to me regardless.

As we celebrate Christmas-what are you grateful to God for? As you reflect on God’s love for you-how have you grown? How has God’s love changed your life?

Let me know in the comment box below.

Blessings

P.S – If you need prayers concerning anything, just type in “pray” and the minute I see your comment I will pray with you-because YOU matter to God! 

 

 

When we exclude God from our relationship

Image result for wrong relationshipI am meeting people who are in relationships that God did not send them to be in. I am meeting people who are miserable in their marriages-they had this idea that marriage was going to be a dream, effortless and instant.

Marriage with the right person is a dream, our problem is that we are becoming an impatient generation- we assess people by having our own check boxes that must be ticked off to fulfill our criteria , we claim to have consulted God but we find that the person we chose fulfills the whole checklist except being grounded in God. We are okay with dating and even marrying people who are not saved, we are okay with sidelining God in the dating process and wonder when the marriage doesn’t work out why God would lead us into that relationship.

The beautiful character of God is that he will never override your decision, we instead choose to be with people who are abusive, we choose to be with people who don’t fulfill their promises to us by allowing them to  strip us of our dignity for a moment’s pleasure.

Marriage is becoming like a drive-through, people want their needs fulfilled at no consideration of the other person; when their needs aren’t fulfilled they go outside and find someone else to fulfill their needs and forget about their vows. Vows don’t mean anything anymore-being bound by your words has no standing anymore.

You might ask- “when did we become like this?”

We became like this the moment we chose to remove God from our decision-making, we became like this the moment we sidelined God in our lives; some of us box God in and expect him to work in every area of our lives except our relationship life-we purposefully exclude God and wonder why that area is failing.

The people who I have spoken to whose relationships didn’t work out say that they suspected that the people they were with were not authentic, most say they knew, but they hoped for change.  I am seeing a pattern being formed-most people knew that the person they were with was not the real deal-so my question then is – why be with someone who God has warned you to stay away from? Why proceed into getting into a spiritual union knowing fully well that this person isn’t the one for you?

God has shown me that I too am not different from the people I am talking about in the above paragraph- I too chose to be with people who God had told me to stay away from and I too made mistakes by thinking that I could change the people I dated to become someone I wanted. God also showed me that the way I was so deceived I even thought that by dragging someone to the altar to receive the Lord Jesus into their lives would lead to all the tick boxes being fulfilled when in actual fact I hadn’t even discerned their heart (and mine) was not even centred on the Lord.

We choose people based on outwardly appearances- we go after the shine and not the heart, we go after the status and not the character, we go after the feelings and neglect the warning signs, we run after how great our Instagram and Facebook feed will look with them instead of chasing after the wisdom of God in discerning their motives. We trade our souls to become the envy of the world, we relentlessly pursue someone who beats us up-physically and emotionally because we believe that we are more valuable as people when we are with them-forgetting about the one true love that relentlessly pursues us even when we willfully walk away to pursue what breaks us.

Beloved, you don’t deserve heartache and abuse. You don’t deserve to be someone’s second-best when God has made you his first choice. My hope for you is to turn to God for help, run back into the arms of your first love-trust Him to lead and guide you again by submitting to his will. The things of God may appear to take time but his timing is purposeful, his timing is perfect.

Only God changes people, only God can tough people;s hearts to be completely transformed.

Hear the Lord’s voice today and make the necessary changes.

( Picture credit : tamcounseling.com)

 

 

 

 

 

Will it even matter?

Our obsession with materialism and superficiality has led me to take some time to really look at the fundamentals of life-to really step back and look at the bigger picture.

The bigger picture is this in most instances- we are born, we learn to walk,talk and all the development milestones that come with this stage of life; we become more aware of ourselves, carve out our identity; we branch out into the world by ourselves; we discover someone we find compatible with ourselves; we marry and see the need to expand-thus have children; we get old and frail and ultimately,yes-we die!

The beauty of this bigger picture is that LIFE happens in between, memories are built to accompany this bigger picture-struggles and challenges are met along the way, victories and joys come besides us. The beauty is that we adapt to circumstances we never knew we could possibly overcome, we make new friendships, salvage the ones that were once lost-we discover new hobbies and interests…my point is : WE LIVE!

The question is-in your living, what are you building? what are you doing with your time? If you look back at who you were five years ago-are you satisfied, can you atleast smile and say: “YES! I lived and I’m still living.” The fundamental truth about life my friend is that time moves, however, with time moving-you dont have to look back at your past and allow it to define your present; also- you don’t have to stop living because you feel like your glory years have passed-what about now? what about the future?

I sat one day and asked myself some real questions-basically what sparked this is that I have gained some weight, I looked at all my pictures from the past, the pictures I took at my most successful, pictures I took when deep down inside I was supposed to be most proud of myself, instead, most pictures I looked at I kept thinking how fat I had felt in them, how concerned with my image I was- back then I was a shadow of who I am now,but I wasn’t content. I continued to be critical and judgemental towards myself-heck, I can’t even remember the joy and fulfillment of being in the moment without entertaining harsh thoughts towards myself.

I remember looking at people in critical care, people in palliative care fighting to have a chance to have a decent quality of life-fighting to ward off the pain that came with illness, fighting to walk out into the sunshine and feel the sun on their skin, fighting to feel their legs carry them without feeling like a burden to others- and here I was busy disqualifying myself over things that really don’t matter-busy messing with my bigger picture instead of embracing it.

The thing is when you are at your deathbed-the thoughts that erode your mind aren’t going to be about your weight or what a bad public speaker you think you are, no, the thoughts I believe that come at you like a violent force are- why didn’t I run more? Why didn’t I make more of a difference in my family? What would have happened if I wrote that book?  I should have reached out to my siblings more, I wish I attended more plays that my children participated in, how did I miss the stages of my life-the growth and transformation?

The thing is my friend-regret is an open wound, we may find ways to adapt to its pain-but it remains there. The question essentially is-will it even matter that you don’t speak or write so well,that you feel you might not look so great, that you don’t have much money or you have alot of money? At the end of the day-you leave it all behind, it stays where you found it!

The most regrettable thing other than having all these things or not even having them is failure-failure to be free, failure to do the very thing that you are afraid of; and that is becoming who God called you to be, becoming YOU!

One moment you are fat-the next you are skinny, who cares. One moment you are rich, the next you are poor; you have many friends you have few friends. Does it even matter to please people, when people are just fickle. People are so fickle, they are unstable, they lack consistency-yet, we invest our all in seeking their approval and ultimately, they let us down-time and time again.

The irony is that you will read this right now and it’ll make sense, you may even ask yourself,”Lord, why do I do what I do? when I should be seeking you more and pleasing only you, because you never disappoint.” You will read this and ask yourself these kind of questions but as soon as you walk away from your screen, you will succumb right back into that prison that continues to hold you captive-the prison that you set up-the prison of your mind.

Isn’t that funny?

Why can’t you just be strong and courageous by doing what you are meant to do-what you were created to do by just trusting God and being secure in who He says you are?

Will the things you hold onto even matter when the King of Glory is before you?

Does it even matter?