Loneliness: a void so deep…who can fill it

 

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I was watching a documentary on Michael Jackson recently and it essentially documented his life and struggles. The part that touched me so deeply was how lonely this man was. Some people saw him like a god-he was worshiped,loved and praised but in all that he had one thing that plagued him deeply-loneliness.

No matter how much money you have, there is no ailment for this condition. Loneliness can erode one’s perspective and the reason I say this is because of the choices I and so many people have made.

I recently met a lady who was lamenting the years she lost after being in a relationship that yielded pain and hurt-I looked into her eyes and I saw disfigurement-brokenness. I questioned myself after hearing her story and I thought to myself -what would make a person stay in such a relationship if she saw what it was doing to her-and I realised that it was the fear of loneliness, she chose to stay because being apart from him scared her so much so that she took whatever abuse was hurled at her.

The thing about loneliness is how it creeps into your soul, one moment you are joyous and ecstatic and in a split second-you have this severe depression and longing-sometimes you don’t know what you are longing for but this overwhelming feeling of sadness overtakes you and you start yearning for someone to share life with; loneliness can drive you to settle for just about anybody because of that need for companionship and love.

Loneliness is scary because it can lead us to make wrong decisions to try and fill a void that may have been there for many years.

I remember how loneliness drove me into a deep depression, so much so that I stopped attending lectures at varsity and I took on an identity that was never mine-I started to listen to the voice of the enemy that told me that I am ugly, that no one will want to marry me, that I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love and affection. I remember how broken I became because I had listened to these voices-I remember how lonely I was because by listening to these voices I drove myself into isolation.

Beloved in that moment-only Jesus could get me out, and he did!

I remember how tears became my prayer because words stung my heart too much to be uttered. I recall asking God if this is all I am worth-if my value was reduced to nothing, if I was born to be alone. Just writing this I can feel the raw pain that I felt on that day.

I don’t know where you are at in your life, I don’t know what the enemy has said to you; but I do know of a God so great who overcame all the hurt and pain in this world and his name is Jesus. Jesus honestly filled the void that no man could ever fill. Jesus continues to pour out a love so strong on me that in the times that I choose to be alone-I never feel lonely.

Maybe you are hoping to feel alive again,maybe you are hoping to feel loved again-I don’t know; but what I do know is that you matter so much to God and he will heal those wounds and he will fill that loneliness.

Turn to him, his arms are always open.

(Romans 10: 9-11)

 

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Happy Happy New Year

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To everyone who read the blog, stumbled over, subscribed and even supported by suggesting what I should probably write about next- a very big thank you!

I pray that God blesses the work of your hands, I pray that he would turn your pain into joy-mostly I pray that you would grow in wisdom of who He is.

God bless

Fez

Ps – Don’t be afraid to comment, I really enjoy knowing what is on your heart.

Fezile, the one whom God loves

 

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It’s Christmas day and I am behind a PC 🙂

I couldn’t go to bed without writing this post-today I went to church and as I was sitting watching the speaker share the message I realised that God gave me life, God gave me time and God has given me love.

As I reflected on what my Saviour has done for me I was filled with tremendous joy. The word says we have every spiritual blessing (Ephesians) and today it hit me that everything the word says I have-I truly have.

As I reflect on my life, I realised that if I were to go to Heaven now-I would have peace, not only  because I would be in my Saviour’s arms-but I would have peace that I used everything the Lord told me to use and I have done what the Lord has said I must do-there is nothing more beautiful than that-to be in the complete will of God.

I used to think that if I had more money or a better house or many cars I would be complete-but friends, Jesus completes me, Jesus is my answer to the world’s deepest pain-Jesus is my everything.

I thank God that when he died for me more than 2000 years ago-he saw Fezile before him and he said I love her so much that I am willing to lay my life down for her. Jesus saw my whole life before him, my mistakes, my failures, my flaws-but even in all that-he still chose to die for me!

I boast of God’s love because honestly that love is the only one that hasn’t demanded me to be anything else than what I am. I know God loves me, I know that I am precious to Him and I know that I matter to Him. I know that when I am sad he feels my pain because he loves me. There isn’t anyone in this world who can ever tell me otherwise concerning God’s heart for me-I can speak confidently of that love because I have a relationship with my Father, I tell him everything and I know he hears every single prayer and he makes every effort to bring comfort and hope my way-because of the love he has for me.

God’s love humbles me because I don’t deserve it BUT he gives it to me regardless.

As we celebrate Christmas-what are you grateful to God for? As you reflect on God’s love for you-how have you grown? How has God’s love changed your life?

Let me know in the comment box below.

Blessings

P.S – If you need prayers concerning anything, just type in “pray” and the minute I see your comment I will pray with you-because YOU matter to God! 

 

 

When Disaster Strikes: Liz’s Story

Have you ever declared something to the Lord and were so convicted in your declaration, only for God to turn around and test the very words you spoke to him?

Monday evening was one of those moments for us. Our good friend Liz from Dubai came through to visit us and we had an awesome time with her- it was so awesome we sealed it with a soaking night. We soaked in the presence of the Lord, prayed, worshiped and declared his love for us; little did we know that God had an assignment for Liz-an assignment of faith! Friends, we felt the anointing move that night-at one point Liz was so convicted by the Holy Spirit that she declared that no rock will take her place in worshiping the Lord! She was so lost in God’s presence.

In that moment all we knew was that God loves us, all we knew was that we matter to God. All we knew was that we were shielded and protected by Jesus.

We all encouraged each other with scriptures and just gave thanks to the Lord for who he is in our lives, we proclaimed his protection over us and wished each other a good night, sounds uneventful right? Sounds pretty normal.

Then, disaster stuck…

We could hear Liz crying and Sipho-our friend, told us that there is a fire at that very moment that is consuming the building she resides in. in Dubai.

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We were confused- I mean, just a couple of minutes ago we prayed the right prayers, we sang praises to God- we did the right thing! We honestly didn’t understand how a disaster like this could happen-the anguish and helplessness we felt was overwhelming friends, we honestly didn’t have words to say to Liz – I mean what do you say when someone’s efforts,time and money have gone up in flames? What do you say when someone’s credentials and certificates are caught in a blazing inferno? How do you begin to bring comfort in such a heated situation when you have all your possessions and someone else is faced with having theirs in flames? We sat for what seemed like eternity,speechless.

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Let me tell you something-the situation was hopeless friends, the situation was honestly hopeless, to top it off we saw the article on GulfNews and watched the video of the chaos-I mean if there was ever a time to seal a fate it was that!

But God!

In that moment Wayne, Sipho and I just said: “No!” We refused to submit ourselves to that situation, we refused to entertain the reality before us and we just said NO! Friends, in that moment I honestly thought that Liz was about to resent us- I mean, the last thing anyone needs when going through something is for someone to say : “maybe ,just maybe your things are ok.” The last thing anyone needs in that situation is people who seemingly aren’t sympathetic towards your situation. We continued fighting for our beloved friend, we encouraged her to stand in faith with us-she was reluctant at first but let me tell you something about the peace of God-it transcends ALL understanding.

Friends-that building was on fire, we saw the flames engulf it, we heard the cries of desperation and hopelessness of the victims affected by this BUT we refused, deep down we refused to believe that. We prayed fervently, we declared the promises of God over that situation-we even spoke life into the testimony that she will have.

We trusted that in the same way that God protected the Israelites during the Passover since they had the blood of the lamb on their doors-we believed that God was able to do the same miracle by allowing that fire to consume everything else except Liz’s apartment! We believed with all out strength in this Almighty God that He is able to overcome an inferno. We believed that nothing will touch his anointed ones, that deathly situations will not come upon us, that we will be spared!

God was quiet.

Friends-in that bone-crunching moment, God was quiet! You know what, God is far beyond my comprehension to explain, all we had was peace. His grace was sufficient.

Liz finally arose and she said that God had asked her a couple of months ago if she would still praise Him if he took everything away from her-even in her saying that-we still believed that God would save her possessions.

The fire continued and we slept knowing-please look at that word-KNOWING that all is well.

We woke up the following day to a picture that her friend sent her showing her how her apartment block looked like-with the words, “Sorry friend.” Even with those images sent-we still refused, we still fought back and held onto who God is-we still refused to bow down to that situation.

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My faith has never failed me, it had nothing to do with proving anyone wrong-in that moment all we knew was that ALL things are possible with God, in that moment all we knew was that we have overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony-all we knew was that our faith has touched Jesus and he was working this situation for our good. We didn’t care about the images-we submitted ourselves to the image written in our spirit whom we know-Jesus.

What came later on that day was not just news, it was a testimony of the faithfulness of the God we serve. Liz’s agent told her that her apartment was not touched by the fire!

Please read this carefully-her apartment was not touched by the fire. The Lord God Almighty, the Lord strong in battle, the Lion of Judah, the Rock of Ages drew a line and her half of the building was not touched!

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Friends I need you to know something- Jesus is the only way, the only truth and the only life. The Lord is jealous over the ones he loves. Faith moves God.

Our faith moved God-like Peter we stepped out of our reality and stepped into our spiritual reality. We got out of the boat of desperation, the boat of hopelessness, the boat of despair and we walked on the possibility that lay before us-we focused our eyes on the reality we know-Jesus.

ALL things are possible for those who believe.

Your situation can change if only YOU believe.

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